


Ain't No Rainbow

by melodicmermaid



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodicmermaid/pseuds/melodicmermaid
Summary: Since the announced failure of the Kerberos mission, Katie Holt's life took some unexpected twists and turns. Getting suddenly dragged into a war against an alien empire was far from anything she imagined even possible, but despite the danger, she wouldn't change it for the world.





	1. Stars Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Voltron General Big Bang](http://voltronbang.tumblr.com).
> 
> This fic destroyed me, but I'm super happy with how it turned out. <3 (Minus the summary. I still can't write a summary to save my life.)
> 
> The art was done by [pens0l](http://www.pens0l.tumblr.com)! I can't express how much I adore the pieces and I'm just crying.
> 
> And thank you to [disappointedcheesecake](http://www.disappointedcheesecake.tumblr.com) and [facelessmina](http://www.facelessmina.tumblr.com) for reading through parts of it and helping me edit. ;w;
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> Song: [True Colors by Zedd](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weEV0Jf0Urk)

“And our communications officer is... Who the heck is Pidge Gunderson?” Pidge heard a tan-skinned, lanky guy with brown hair ask the boy standing next to him as she was walking up to the board where team assignments had just been posted.

“Right here,” she called, approaching the pair.

“Welcome to the team, Gunderson. I'm Lance, your fighter pilot.”

“Hey, I'm Hunk,” the other boy, the engineer of their team, introduced himself.

“We got a lot of great times ahead, so we should probably start bonding now. What do you say we sneak out of campus…” Pidge’s attention shifted from Lance to Commander Iverson, who was talking to security guards down the hall.

“Security for the Galaxy Garrison's mainframe is our first priority. It's been breached once. And by a little girl, no less. It can not happen again!” She listened in, glaring slightly. He started walking toward the three of them, so she saluted. “Wrong arm, cadet.”

Pidge sighed, embarrassed at the mistake, but grateful he hadn’t given her any extra attention. Lance seemed completely unphased by the commander, “Hello? Pizza? Girls? Astronauts?”

“Sorry, I don't have time to mess around with you guys. See you in the simulator.”

“What's his problem?” Lance whispered to Hunk, although he was loud enough for Pidge to hear him as she walked away.

Pidge figured she could have had a worse team. They both seemed like decent guys, but she knew Lance would constantly get on her nerves. Regardless, Pidge had only enrolled in the Garrison because they were hiding something about the recently failed Kerberos mission and she was going to find out what because she knew Samuel and Matthew Holt were not dead.

Snooping around would be even more dangerous now that two people had been caught. Keith, a fighter pilot who would have been in the same year Pidge enrolled as, was expelled for “issues in his behavior” but Pidge knew he had tried snooping around for the same information she wanted. She, of course, had gotten much further than he did. Enrolling at the academy with a fake identity wasn’t what she had in mind, but at this point her family was more important than her future career. She considered it a miracle that she had even pulled it off; she was the spitting image of a younger Matt after she cut her hair, but Matt didn’t have a younger brother so she guessed they treated it like it was a coincidence if they even noticed at all.

She knew she was going to have to blend in if she wanted to avoid suspicion. It’d probably be normal to become close with her teammates, but she wasn’t sure how well that would go. Lance sort of had a reputation for stirring up trouble and didn’t seem to take anything seriously. She didn’t know much about Hunk, other than the fact that he always got wrapped up in whatever Lance was up to. Pidge couldn’t risk getting caught breaking rules with them because she feared Commander Iverson would start to recognize her.  

The day after teams had been assigned, the lunchroom was as Pidge expected it to be. Everyone was sitting with their new teammates and she was sitting alone in her usual corner.

“I don’t know, Lance. Maybe we should give him some space.”

“Nope, we’re a team. We should at least sit together during lunch,” she heard Lance argue with the engineer. He came up to the other side of Pidge’s table and sat himself down. Hunk followed suit, giving an apologetic look. She said nothing and continued eating.

It was awkwardly silent for a while, until Lance took a breath like he was about to say something. As if it was a cue, Pidge gathered up their belongings and lunch tray and walked away. She could hear Lance’s voice, clearly unhappy, but she paid no attention to what he was saying. The remainder of her lunch break was spent in her room.

 

* * *

 

The trio was fairly unsuccessful during the first quarter. Pidge and Hunk faired well individually, each earning perfect or near perfect marks on written exams. The simulator, however, was a different story. Lance was very capable of taking charge and it was clear that he knew how to fly. He tended to make impulsive decisions for the sake of trying to be impressive and paid minimal attention to Pidge and Hunk until things started going wrong. When Lance’s piloting was faster and more unpredictable, Hunk’s motion sickness kicked in and that was always the end of it. Iverson scolded them after every simulation, much to her dismay, but he tended to direct his words at Lance.

Exams were coming up again, and Pidge had agreed to study with Hunk. She didn’t feel she needed to, but she actually really liked her conversations with Hunk and his peanut butter cookies were to die for. Plus, they had a sort of friendly competition going with their exam scores, so studying together meant one wouldn’t have any advantage over the other. Not to mention, completely isolating herself would do nothing but raise suspicions, and Lance would be even more unbearably nosey than he already was.

“Let’s watch a movie!” Lance announced as he entered his and Hunk’s dorm room. Pidge groaned and Hunk sighed.

“You’re the one who’s going to fail, Lance. Study.”

“It’s a Friday night! Live a little,” Lance smirked, “You’ve already made snacks! We just need some popcorn.”

“Study snacks. For those of us in the room who are studying.” 

“I’m making popcorn and we’re watching _Mean Girls_.” There was almost no convincing Lance once he had his mind set on something. He grabbed a bag of popcorn from beside his desk and left for the student lounge.

“Sorry about him, Pidge.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just go back to my room or the library or something.”

“You sure? He’s kinda right in a sense. Sure he’s extremely pushy, but we should take a break and, well, live a little.” Pidge pouted and closed her notebook. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but Lance is actually really worried about you. He thinks you’re spending too much time with your nose in books and not enough time ‘having fun.’ I know his kind of fun isn’t everyone’s kind of fun, but a movie night is harmless enough, right?” 

Pidge avoided making eye contact, wondering why someone she hardly gave a second thought to was thinking of her. She didn’t know what to say, and her mother always said that actions spoke louder than words, so she packed up her things and sat with her legs crossed at the end of Hunk’s bed. He was frowning watching her pack up, but when she made it clear that she wasn’t leaving he was a bit surprised, but smiled. 

Lance returned, piping hot bag of buttery goodness in hand. He didn’t comment on the fact that Pidge hadn’t left, but he grinned before striking a flashy pose, “The party has arrived!”

After the snacks had been set up so they were all easy enough to reach and the movie was ready to play, the three of them sat next to each other on Hunk’s bed. Lance sat close to the engineer, while Pidge was a bit further away. The two of them were obviously close, which she guessed was what would happen when you lived with someone.

“You ever seen this movie, Gunderson?” Lance asked through a mouth full of popcorn.

“Nope.”

“Get ready for a life changing experience.”

Pidge had to admit it wasn’t a bad movie. In fact, she’d probably say she enjoyed it, and Lance reciting lines along with the actors hadn’t actually bothered her like she knew it would have with any other movie.

“Well? Best movie you’ve ever seen?” Lance asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Best movie? Probably not. Good movie? Yes.”

“I’d be careful with your words. Lance will literally make us watch it over and over again until you agree that it’s the best movie ever made.”

“I wouldn’t do that to him, Hunk.”

“You did it to me!”

Pidge shifted in her seat. “I’m gonna head back to my room I guess. It’s almost curfew. I’ll see you guys in the simulator on Monday.”

Hunk and Lance looked at each other briefly before turning their heads to her, but didn’t say whatever they were thinking. “No problem. G’night, Pidge.”

She didn’t know if she would have stayed much longer if there hadn’t been a curfew, but she was grateful for the excuse to leave. Her phone vibrated a few times while she was still walking, but she waited until she was back in her room, changed into pajamas, and sitting in bed before looking.

**_From Lance_ **

_pidge!!!_

 

**From Lance:**

_u should hang w/ us more often_

 

**From Lance:**

_ive got plenty more mind blowing life changing movies :) :) :) :)_

 

**From Lance:**

_and u should pick a movie sometime 2!! or game we should have a game night_

 

Lance was exactly the type of person who would text like a thirteen year old who just learned about text slang. She chuckled.

 

**To Lance:**

_Let me know when, but I would like to actually study with Hunk before exams. You really need to study, too._

 

 

 

**From Lance:**

_y must u and hunk hurt me in this way he said the same thing_

 

**From Lance:**

_fine!!! but u both owe me a snacks, games, and movies after exams are over_

 

**To Lance:**

_Deal._

 

She muted her phone and placed it on the far end of her nightstand. Lance and Hunk were the two most welcoming people she had ever met. Despite how close they were to each other, they still wanted to have her around. It wasn’t exactly odd; Lance had mentioned bonding as a team, but she thought it would just involve strategizing and preparing for simulations. Movie and game nights were not something she had anticipated.

Hunk and Lance’s friendship was nothing like any of the friendships she’d had at her previous school. Outside of lunch breaks or study sessions, she didn’t hang out with anyone much. Thinking about it, she had always excelled academically, and it wouldn’t be a shock if they’d only kept her around to help them keep their grades up. She imagined they must have hung out more, but never invited her along. Matt had been the only person she was really close with.

Spending the evening with Hunk and Lance brought her back to the times she’d pull all nighters with her brother. They’d watch documentaries, talk about space or conspiracies, among other, more pointless things. Their mom would always get mad when she inevitably found out, but never mad enough to stop them.

She laid back, staring at the ceiling like she usually spent hours doing while she was thinking. _I need to stop._ Thinking about her brother wouldn’t do anything but keep her awake. While she didn’t have class or anything to wake up for in the morning, she didn’t want to stay up if she was just going to make herself upset. Tomorrow was a new day and she could spend the rest of the weekend focusing on gathering more data on Kerberos.

 

* * *

 

Monday came, quicker than anyone ever wants it to, of course, and Pidge, Hunk, and Lance stepped out of the simulator and were met with Commander Iverson’s glare and scolding. Lance refused to look at anything that wasn’t the floor and Hunk looked like he was still trying not to throw up. She sighed, and turned her full attention to Iverson. 

“And worst of all, the whole jump, they were arguing with each other. Heck, if you're going to be this bad individually, you'd better at least be able to work as a team! Galaxy Garrison exists to turn young cadets like you into the next generation of elite astroexplorers, but these kinds of mental mistakes are exactly what cost the lives of the men on the Kerberos Mission.”

“That's not true, sir!” Pidge couldn’t prevent herself from calling out.

“What did you say?”

“Sorry, sir,” Lance covered Pidge’s mouth, “I think he hit his head when he fell out of his chair. But point taken.”

“I hope I don't need to remind you that the only reason you're here is that the best pilot in your class had a discipline issue and flunked out. _Don't_ follow in his footsteps. Next!”

Lance walked Hunk to the infirmary, giving her a half smile before they left the simulation room. Pidge wanted to leave, but didn’t want to draw any more of Iverson’s attention her way. Every other team was able to complete the simulation with either no or minimal issue. Being on the bottom like this sucked, and Iverson seemed to enjoy constantly using her team as an example of what not to do. She felt especially bad for Lance, but it didn’t seem like it was affecting him too much. Hunk would know better than she did about how he felt, so she didn’t dwell on it.  

The class was dismissed after some spiel about when grades would be posted and how he was impressed with “ _almost_ every team,” emphasis on the almost as he looked in Pidge’s direction.

About a half hour after Iverson had called for lights out, Pidge scurried out of her room and headed for the stairs that lead to the roof. Going out after curfew tonight was mostly just to spite Iverson. Pidge was, to say the least, pissed off.

She sat toward the edge of the roof and set up her equipment, immediately starting to scan for any sort of signal or radio frequencies. She wasn’t having much luck picking up anything clear, but then she picked up something crazier than she’d ever heard before. _Voltron._ Someone out there was looking for something called _Voltron_. This wasn’t the first time that word had popped up, but this time it sounded almost frantic. She pulled out her notebook and made a note of it again, but she still had no idea what it meant. Was it a planet? Was it a machine? The name of a living being?

Whatever it was, something big was happening out there and it was dangerously close to earth.

 

**_Stars fall at my feet, keep me grounded as I reach_ **

**_Higher than I see, is there something there for me?_ **

**_Pulling back the reins, letting go again_ **

**_I'm not afraid, I'm not_ **


	2. Know Nothing

It was common knowledge among the paladins that Pidge had terrible sleeping habits. Ever since the night the Galra invaded the castle on Arus it had gotten much worse. She was more than capable of preoccupying herself by tinkering with various Altean gadgets that Coran and Allura had shared with her, but tonight was one of the rare night she couldn’t stay focused. 

She opted for wandering around the castle. It’d be pretty neat if she could explore every corridor, but Allura and Coran had insisted on only giving power to areas that were going to be used everyday. It made sense; they needed to preserve their resources. She was sure they’d power up another area on request, but since everyone was asleep Pidge was left with the current floor she was on. If she actively sought out somewhere new, she was sure she’d find some room she’d never been to. For now, though, she was content to walk through the familiar halls. 

Past the kitchen there was an observation deck. She entered, deciding to keep the lights off, and headed toward the large window that looked out into space. There were stars in the distance, but nothing else. It was what she expected, but it would have been nice to see a planet. Then again, it was probably safer to be away from any sort of civilization so no one, Galra or not, found them. 

“Wonder how far from Earth we are now…” she mumbled. As desperate as she was to find her dad and brother, she missed home. She wished she could at least find some way to contact her mom.

Pidge half regretted not being able to leave the castle while it was on Arus. On one hand, she was glad she didn’t. Her friends could have very well died without her and there was no telling what would have happened to her if she’d been alone in space with a ship that couldn’t defend itself against an army. Deep down she knew her best bet at finding her family was with Voltron, but she wanted that to be the main focus, regardless of how selfish she knew it was. Of course, defeating the Galra meant freeing the prisoners, but it was going to take a long time and pinpointing their exact locations could take even longer. 

_ Do Galra have families?  _

She tensed.

_ Did Haxus have a family? _

_ _

She didn’t realize she started crying. 

The lights suddenly came on. “Pidge? What are you doing in here?”

She turned to find Shiro in the doorway, blinking a few times to adjust to the light and then quickly wiping the tears away. “Oh, uh, nothing. Just looking at… space.”

“You should be sleeping.”

“I couldn’t. I thought a walk might help.”

“Yeah, that’s what I usually do, too,” he smiled warmly and walked next to her. “Are you doing alright?” If he had seen her crying, he wasn’t going to mention it.

“Yeah! I’m fine! Totally peachy!” 

“Pidge…”

She swallowed. “Well, I’m as alright as everyone else,” she turned back toward the window, “I miss Earth, I want to find my family… I’m not used to this.”

“Yeah. Must’ve happened fast from your end of it,” Shiro placed a hand on her shoulder, “I understand if you don’t want to talk much about it, but just know I’ll always be here if you do. Sam was like a second father to me and Matt and I were very close.”

“Thanks, Shiro,” she paused before looking up at him, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“How… How do you get over killing someone?” Shiro furrowed his brows. He’d vaguely known about what happened the night the castle was invaded, but not some of the finer details. “I mean, yeah, he was a Galra and also trying to kill me so it had to be one of us. And arguably, I guess it was Rover, but Rover wasn’t the one who knocked him over the edge of the platform… What if he had a family? How do you stop feeling so guilty? Why do I even feel guilty when they’re the ones causing so much pain and suffering across the entire known and unknown universe?”

“That’s… how war is. You’re empathetic, and that’s not a bad thing. If getting over it means giving up empathy then it’s not worth it. The best advice I can give you is to carry it with you, but stay focused on the end goal and the amount of positive that will come out of it.” He paused, trying to gauge her reaction, but Pidge kept looking down and didn’t say anything. “You did what any other one of us would have done. All of us have and will have to kill more Galra soldiers.”

She took a few deep breaths and brought her eyes up to Shiro’s, giving him a half hearted smile. It wasn’t helping, but she knew he wasn’t completely wrong. “Okay.”

“You should really try to get some sleep soon. We have a lot of long days ahead of us.”

“I’ll try. No promises, but I’ll do my best. I want to sit out here a while longer, though.” 

“That’s all I can ask for. I’m going to head back to my room. Goodnight, Katie.”

“Pidge,” she bit her lip, bringing her arms behind her back and looking down, “Call me Pidge.”

“Right. Goodnight, Pidge.”

As soon as she was sure Shiro had made it back to his room, she left the observation deck and headed into the kitchen. She’d regret the decision tomorrow and Shiro would undoubtedly be disappointed when he found out, but she wasn’t going to sleep tonight. She didn’t think she could if she wanted to.

The alien “coffee” was just as easy to make as the coffee she was used to. Hunk deemed it had more caffeine-like content than espresso, so a little went a long way. The two of them and Coran worked out setting up a makeshift french press, since apparently Alteans liked the drink better with the texture of the grounds and none of the paladins could stand it.

As soon as she poured the near boiling water into the pitcher, over the grounds, the familiar scent was overwhelming to her senses, but pleasant. She never would have suspected coffee would be among her favorite things in space, but here she was, in the middle of the night, grateful that she had something that made her feel as if she was still on earth. She’d been a little jealous when her dad and brother were assigned the Kerberos mission, but proud of their accomplishments and inspired to pursue her own dreams. Although, all of that had been thrown out the window when they were suddenly announced dead and she was stuck who knows how many light years away from earth and apparently destined to save the entire universe. 

_ “Just you wait, kiddo. Something tells me that you're going to have your own crew someday. You're going to fly with them to worlds so far away, we can't even imagine. I bet my bottom dollar you're going to be part of something that makes the whole universe sit up and take notice.” _

Shaking her head, she placed the lid over the pitcher of coffee, pressed the grounds to the bottom, then poured it into her mug. She didn’t want to be up all night thinking about her family. Taking a sip of her coffee, she tried to focus her thoughts on something that wouldn’t get her worked up. She thought back to the early days of her friendship with Hunk and Lance.

She smiled into her drink, remembering the only time the three of them had ventured off campus together. It was late morning on a Saturday and they were out shopping together, since the Garrison had offered a bus to the nearby city so students could have a day away. Before they went into any stores, they stopped at a cafe for a non-cafeteria breakfast and good coffee.

Lance had been the last of them to order, and Pidge remembered her jaw dropping while Hunk was unphased. She couldn’t fault him for the breakfast pastry, but his coffee order was more sugar than caffeine, consisting of caramel, whipped cream, milk, and more caramel. When the drink came out, he added a packet of sugar to it. To say Lance had a sweet tooth would be the understatement of the century. And Pidge thought she had been treating herself with her plain latte and extra espresso shot. 

_ “We hardly ever spend time off campus and you two have to get the most boring things on this menu,” Lance noted.  _

_ “You’re literally the only person who can stomach something that sweet. And I bake! I love sweets! Well, there isn’t much food I don’t love, but that thing right there crosses a line I didn’t think would ever be crossed,” Hunk protested. _

_ “Your loss, man,” he shrugged and took a swig of the drink.  _

_ “Anyway, before Lance gives me a cavity, or multiple cavities, where'd you guys wanna go?” Pidge asked, changing the subject.  _

_ “I need to restock on lotion and face care stuff, but other than that we window shop and go where the wind takes us,” Lance suggested. Hunk nodded. _

That Saturday was probably her fondest memory of the time she spent at the Garrison. Of course, not being on campus was a huge factor, but spending the day out with the two of them made her feel like everything was normal and at the end of the day she’d be going home to dinner with her family. 

She groaned quietly, having to force herself to stop thinking about them again. It was so much easier to keep her thoughts on other things when she wasn't sitting alone specifically trying to think about something else. She kept sipping at her coffee. 

Maybe she should consider asking Lance about doing yoga with him. Apparently that was a good way to get into a relaxed, non-thinking headspace, and it would definitely help her out physically. While she was definitely capable of fighting and defending herself, the extra attention to balance and flexibility wouldn't do any harm.

“Pidge? You're up early, I see,” Allura’s voice made her jump, and she nearly knocked into her mug.

“Oh, uh, yep. Kinda hard to know how early it is when it's always dark.”

“Well, yes. I do hope you’re getting enough sleep.”

“Pff, you sound like Shiro. Allura, I'm fine, really,” she drank the remainder of her coffee, “There's more coffee, er, Altean equivalent to coffee, if you want it. Should still be warm.”

“I'm alright, but thank you,” she paused, moving her hair behind her ear, “It shouldn’t be long before at least Hunk wakes up, but why don’t you come with me? I’m going to check over everything in the control room.”

“Sure.”

The two headed out of the kitchen and through the halls. Spending time with Allura would be enough of a distraction, and she figured Hunk would be awake by the time they were done. Then she could just offer to help with breakfast and the day would go on, and she’d just have to hope that the caffeine crash didn’t happen too early. 

 

**_Something tells me, I know nothing at all_ **

**_We've escaped our capture_ **

**_Yet we have our masters_ **

**_And somehow it's like I've waited_ **


	3. Light the Flame

It came as a shock when the black lion revealed nothing but Shiro’s bayard in the cockpit. On the bright side, they had just claimed another victory against Zarkon’s empire, and most importantly, beaten Zarkon himself. There was no reasons for them to celebrate, however, since Shiro was gone and they had no idea what the Galra were going to do after they undoubtedly regrouped. It’d be naive to think it was over, but at least for the time being they could focus on regrouping.    


Pidge looked around at her teammates. No one had a more devastated expression than Keith. While the seven of them had grown fairly close over the time they’ve spent on the castle, Keith and Shiro still had the closest relationship among them. There was no question that this was going to affect Keith the most.

Allura took a breath and hardened her expression, but Keith ran out of the hanger before she could say anything to break the silence and shock. Allura flinched as if she wanted to stop him, but held herself back. Pidge looked to Lance, waiting for him to make a snarky comment, but he hadn’t taken his eyes off of the empty seat. 

Pidge was next to leave the hanger. She wanted to get away from Shiro’s lion to process the situation. She assumed Keith was going to do the same, but she didn’t want to leave him alone. They’d likely find him bruised and passed out on the training deck if no one checked in on him or kept an eye on him. 

The training deck was the first place she walked by, but she found it dark and empty. She raised an eyebrow, wondering where else he would have gone. It was possible he was just walking around the castle, went back to his room, or maybe she didn’t notice he went to sit inside Red. She decided she’d look around for him just to make sure he wasn’t already passed out anywhere he shouldn't be. 

She eventually found Keith on the observation deck. It made sense; staring out into literal space was something that helped all of them clear their heads. He sat against the wall opposite the giant window, knees pressed up against his chest. It didn’t seem like he had been crying, but she didn't suspect he was a huge crier. Without a word, Pidge joined him, making sure to sit a bit away from him to make sure he had enough physical space. Keith didn’t protest the company, but made no effort to stop sulking.

It felt like the silence between them lasted hours, but it was much more comfortable than it had been in the hanger. Pidge didn’t want to push him into a conversation he didn’t want to have, and it's not as if she knew what to say. If Keith needed to talk about it she was sure he would. 

“Do you think I can lead Voltron?” Keith spoke up, bringing Pidge away from her thoughts. It was, of course, a question she wasn’t sure how to answer. “Shiro told me he wanted me to lead Voltron if anything happened to him. I thought he was just... saying that because he was injured. I didn’t think… I didn’t want to believe anything would happen to him.”

She didn’t know if Keith was just talking because someone was listening or if he wanted a response. He was difficult for her to read like this. He looked away from her and pressed his lips together, curling up more than he already was.

“I think… Shiro wouldn’t say something like that if he didn’t believe you have it in you, even if he did just say it because he was injured. I'm not even really surprised he wanted you to be his successor,” Pidge responded, deciding that the best thing to do was to be honest, but careful with her words, “When you look at everything that’s happened to us while we’ve been piloting Voltron, Shiro isn’t a perfect leader. We sort of… put him on a pedestal because he’s our senior and was chosen for an important Garrison mission. He had just escaped being a prisoner of a powerful alien empire and then was thrown into a war against them with an inexperienced team and over ten thousand year old technology. When Allura said he was to be the ‘decisive head of Voltron’ I think… I think he felt that he had to stay calm and act as if he was able to play the part perfectly. He took on too much by himself so we wouldn’t be as stressed as we already were. We need to let the situation sink in, but if… if we rely on each other more and, well, as cheesy as it sounds, work together we can pull this off until we get Shiro.”

Keith took a few deeps breaths, letting her words sink in. He wanted to argue, but of the group Pidge was going to look at the situation the most logically. Protesting her points wouldn’t do any good anyway. “You don’t have to say anything, Keith,” Pidge spoke up again, “I know I’m not... the best at comforting speeches, but… That’s what I think about everything.”

“Yeah,” he responded, softly and with his eyes closed. He moved himself close enough to her so their shoulders were touching. “Sorry I… I feel like I just need something to remind myself that I’m not alone right now.”

“No worries.” She knew him well enough that contact like this was something Keith would only ask for if he really, really needed it. After everything that happened earlier, Pidge probably needed this as well. 

They sat like that for a while, staring at the stars as if they were expecting Shiro to miraculously appear before before them. It was an unrealistic hope, but it didn’t stop the thought from crossing Pidge’s mind. 

She closed her eyes, exhaustion catching up with her. If Keith wanted to move, she figured he would wake her if she fell asleep, so she let herself relax into him. Her head fell to his shoulder, and he tensed briefly before letting himself lean closer to her, resting his cheek on the top of her head. It’d be a terrible position to sleep up, but Pidge decided that she would regret it in the morning when her body was stiff and just enjoy it in the moment. 

Hours after they’d fallen asleep, Coran walked into the observation deck. He wasn’t expecting to see Pidge and Keith of all people cuddled up and sleeping together, but he smiled to himself and left to get them a blanket. He wrapped it around their shoulders and left them as they were.

Pidge didn’t know how long they’d slept, but she assumed it was through the night. Keith was already awake, though he hadn’t moved. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “What time is it?”

“Hunk just got started making breakfast. He came in not too long ago to see if we were up yet.” 

“Oh. Well, wanna head over to the kitchen? Today is the kind of day where coffee isn’t optional.” Keith nodded in response. Immediately after standing up, Pidge felt how stiff her body was and saw Keith stretch and crack his neck. 

Much to their surprise, Lance was already in the kitchen with Hunk. Coffee was already prepared, so both Pidge and Keith helped themselves and joined Lance at the table. It was quiet for a while, minus the sounds of Hunk preparing the food goo. Lance’s eyes were shifting from the coffee to Keith almost as if he was debating on saying something. She trusted he wouldn’t make some insensitive comment, but she could also see him attempt to lighten the mood with some kind of humor. 

“Hey, so…” He finally said, though he kept his eyes on his coffee, “What’s the plan for today?”

Keith didn’t say anything. He looked between Lance, Pidge, and Hunk for a while before Pidge decided to step in. “We should wait for Allura and Coran and discuss this together. We all need to be on the same page.”

“Right, yeah. It’s just… what do you think is gonna happen with Voltron?”

“We’ll find Shiro,” Keith snapped. 

“I never said we wouldn’t!” Lance abruptly stood up, making the table shake a bit and their mugs rattle. He frowned and shrunk back down into his seat after a few seconds.

“Keith, we all want to find Shiro, but without some kind of clue or lead we don’t know where to start looking. He could be, literally, anywhere in the universe right now,” Hunk added. 

“I am not giving up on him. Shiro is the only person who never gave up on me.”

“Hey man, look, I want nothing more than to get back to Earth. Just because we’re also defending the universe it doesn’t mean I’ve given on up getting home. Pidge, too! She hasn't given up on finding her family! It sucks, it really, really sucks, but we need to focus on the bigger picture here,” Lance stopped and sighed, looking to the ground, “I'd give anything to go back to earth, honestly, but, ya know, we were brought out here for a reason. This is something only we can do.” 

Keith kept quiet. Pidge almost wanted to jump to his defense, but Lance was right. Just because defending the universe had to come first, it didn't mean their other missions were abandoned. “What do you think Allura is going to want to do about this?” Hunk asked, trying to shift the subject matter. It wasn’t a better topic, but it was still one they needed to prepare for.

“Well, she knew which lions we were meant to pilot when we got here, so maybe she’ll be able to do the same? Or the lions might just tell us or at least give us a sign?” Pidge suggested. “Keith… you were able to fly Black before. Mayb-”

“Pidge. Please,” he interrupted her. He sounded more distressed than angry, so she dropped the idea of Keith piloting Black immediately. She was certain she was correcting in believing he would be the new Black Paladin, but she wanted to avoid making him more upset than he already was.

The mice entered the room, followed by Coran and Allura shortly after. “After you all finish eating meet me in the hanger. We have some things we need to sort out.” She turned and left as quickly as she came in. Her tone was harsh, but Pidge hoped she was just trying to keep her own emotions about Shiro’s disappearance to herself. Coran looked at each of them, smiling a bit sheepishly, before following the princess out.

“She wants to talk about Voltron, I’m guessing,” Pidge said, “...Maybe we should try and take our time with eating.” 

“Maybe she just wants to send us on missions? We don’t need all five lions immediately, like, right now, do we? She could just want to send some of us out to look for Shiro?” Hunk asked, attempting to relieve some of the tension in the room.

“We don-” Lance was interrupted.

“Whatever she wants we can’t keep her waiting,” Keith’s voice was stern, but he was slumping in his seat. Pidge frowned. Hunk finished making everyone their breakfast plates and they ate without saying anything or even looking at each other. 

When they were finished, Pidge stood up first. “Hunk, Lance, you guys go ahead. We’ll wash up.”

Lance smirked, probably about to be snarky, but Hunk quickly nodded and dragged him out of the kitchen. Pidge shook her head and Keith stood up as well. 

“I’m sorry,” she started, walking closer to him to put her hand on his shoulder, “I’d love to build something that could control our feelings, but that’s not exactly possible. Point is, we’re gonna be a mess for a while, but we just have to keep pushing forward.”

“Yeah,” Keith sighed, looking down dejectedly. 

Pidge pulled him into a hug. He didn’t reciprocate immediately, but he slowly brought his arms around her. It was, to say the least, one of the most awkward moments of her life, but this was more for him than it was for her. She had no doubts this was just as weird for him, but she could feel him relax ever so slightly. 

All they could do was support each other and hope they found Shiro sooner rather than later.

 

**_A promise with the light, is broken by design_ **

**_What we thought we knew, has been swallowed by the truth_ **

**_It's time to light the flame, right before it rains_ **

**_I'm not afraid, I'm not_ **


End file.
